I will have to make this short because it’s getting late and I’m tired but I want to keep the streak alive! That’s with blogging.

today was a rough day —internally. so rough I don’t have the energy to begin to explain. So how can I summarize quickly?

mmm…let’s just say I did a tiny bit of studying for my GRE and the distractions are already coming. I’m having to begin another process that will interfere with this and it’s not what I want to do but it is still a goal that I wrote down–I wasn’t seeing the immediate need to focus on it but here I am.

I’m at a point where this year will be a make or break for me and either what I do will propel me or move me backwards. I’m also having to do a bit of soul-searching and dig into some matters while I also have to turn away from people’s false idea of me.

food for thought: How do you experience mislabels from people and/or different groups of people? What are things that distract you or hold you back from having success in your life?

It’s true. You are best at managing others when you can manage yourself. This is the first time I am saying this and writing it because, once again, I find myself in a position where I have to make decisions about others and at the same time cultivate a relationship while still having to be somewhat of an authoratative person. It’s not always comfortable  because when you’re the boss, people will always find what’s wrong with how you’re doing things and they won’t agree with you and they’ll be a few that’ll try to spoil the bunch and in fact they do.

I’m not one that tries to assert myself but if I have to then I will. People take me for the cute little person without realizing that I carry a big stick, that small things come in big packages, that looks…can very well be deceiving —as the cliche CLICHE goes. So often, I’m tested and tried until people realize then that they have to take me more seriously – I’m sorry that I’m not white collared enough for you to have more respect for the shoes that I wear—THESE SHOES THAT I WEAR! lol smh omg —seriously, this is not what my post is about but it’s what my head became filled with as I read a message from a staff member and then it became a ripple effect. Ultimately, I don’t care about not being liked but I do care about being misunderstood.

As for managing others, I have to put into perspective managing myself, my emotions, my time, my thoughts, my words, my choices and actions as how I do so is dependent upon all of these things. I am working to find the balance in my personal life as I push through challenges and break bad habits and yet still doing the very same thing in my professional life. You can’t run from you and you can’t hide from you. You may disguise yourself but it’ll be only for a short time. This I say as the person desiring to do better and be better, for myself, for others, with others, and around others.

As for managing self, it is not something that is easily mastered if a challenge. It’s a skill that is developed through daily practice over time. For instance, if I want to master the skill of time management or studying daily, just know that I will fail many times before I get it right. The beauty in failure is that it’s just simply the wobbly legs of a toddler learning to walk. Eventually, that failure turns into success. The beauty in it is that some days you succeed and some not but being persistent, trying, and not giving up gives you the result s of success.

I say all this to day that I worked from early morning to late evening and I let time get away so much that I did not complete my evening tasks but left myself depleted. I sit back and ask myself, “why…why do you keep doing this to yourself?” But the only difference is that I recognize my error and I tell myself as I do each day when need, “I will try again tomorrow”. I think what I need to work on saying more often is, “I will do better tomorrow without a doubt.” There’s only so many times that you fail before you get it right and with ‘persistence backed by determination and action’, it’ll happen —I mean look, just look at the conclusion I’ve come to now.

Anywhoo, I’m hoping that all of this made sense. I’m actually too tired to tell. Well, amazingly, I made it back here. It’s always better when you don’t make promises. Maybe I will see you tomorrow. I sure did anticipate this time with you.

Take Care reader.

signed,

-The Writer

 

 

 

So I was supposed to start this blog on January 13, 2019 and here it is 8 nights later. Should I have started it then or was it just the day when I conceived it? I doesn’t matter. What matters is that I started but the thing is, I’m confident that I won’t continue this blog but I get a kick out of starting things and never finishing it. This is my cynicism or my bitter mentality —a small island that lives inside of my head and believes this based on the fact that it very well knows how well I don’t complete projects. It’s the sense of humor that is almost satirical because it should be considered a very sad thing that I don’t complete things and I find it sort of funny at this point in my life. Really, deep down inside, I’m crying.

Let’s switch gears for a minute and talk about a wonderful movie. Julia & Julia was a great movie in the sense that it captures the passion and perseverance of four different people who share love not only for one another but for what they do. You have two men in love with two different women, wanting to support their every wish and travel down daunting paths with them in hopes to help them discover their own potential. You have one woman, Julia 1, who is trapped by mundane daily work with a little bit of hope in making a difference in someone’s life yet feels a great void and need to make a difference in her own life. Through her desire, she decides to take on a project in the art of cooking that she probably didn’t think would lead her down a path of becoming a successful writer. You have the second woman, Julia 2, also searching how to fulfill her own life but has more zest, energy, and optimism and clearly, a determination to master the art of cooking. These two men never meet. These two women never meet. Yet these two stories emerge in meaning and ooze an outcome of success. I’m sure you know Julia Child and of course this movie…wouldn’t have existed without Julia 1.

Julia 1 – how can one not adore her undying efforts to complete a life task as a born writer with potential and filled with insecurities?

Julia 2 – how can one not admire this beautiful and free-spirited individual who takes French cooking by the legs and flings it around? —something like that.

As I watched this movie, I couldn’t help but to think about my own life. The desire to fulfill my own goals and dreams and the difference here is knowing exactly what I want to do and exactly how I should do it. The challenge is sticking to the doing. Can I be like Julia 1 and push through the challenges to find myself on the other end of success? Should I go ahead and copy her and grab a cookbook with 365 recipes? Minus 8. No, but this being a new year, and having written down all of my macro and micro goals with milestones and reasons—a vision board for the cherry on top, I thought I would humor myself some more and track my progress through writing and simply sharing my daily journey because I just know that there is someone—some people—out there needing this, needing inspiration—needing confirmation that they’re not alone in being shitty in completing what they said they would—but wait…I didn’t say I would complete this blog and I don’t promise I will write daily but you can…perhaps…check and see how I’m doing.

Nonetheless, I’m thrilled to do this. I’m thrilled to not finish something again. It’s my wonderful kryptonite.

Join me on my journey that will soon come to an end. Just know that this may be the only page you will ever read.

 

P.S Happy MLK Day- In remembrance of him.

 

Signed,

 

Quita

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton